roller coaster rides

on and off

but somehow i believe things will be better

it's been a long while

i guess it's all right to listen to yiruma once a while and let my emotions out.

let's get on with that portfolio now shall we

[edit:

this course tires one out so easily, it tires my inner soul

i believe i am changing gradually to become someone who's less and less..myself.

bad.

there have been times when i realise in mortification that i no longer feel immense gratification at the little helps i receive, to show that little appreciation

i believe im not ignorant, but my tired heart just somehow becomes more self-centered, in a way. centering my world around endless complaints, desperation, a constant seek for help..

that i no longer focus on thinking about others.

mortification. truly.

not to mention writing, or speaking even. my chinese has become so horrible i cant bear to think of myself as a Chinese.

where, oh where is this taking us

i hope i don't forget that writing heals.

perhaps it's also the reason why i have become more whimsical recently

tired, tired.

so tired to in fact to do anything now.

hope this heals, and ill end up feeling more optimistic, just like how i used to be after writing each post. (:

even though this post is done in such a fast...manner?

it's ending soon (: love you guys so much. ha ha ha i dont even know who im referring to.