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Eyu. 08'07'92 WRPS;NYGH;HCI NUS Architecture Taint a celestial vault for me in shades of blue, and sprinkle stars over clear waters, emulating musical notes floating through frozen times. Give me a sandglass containing grains of memories, take a photo of someone dancing through the prairie fields, or maybe filter Paris's boulevards and cafes in vintage lens -- drown me in such ethereal worlds. ♪s recommends ♥KAGAYA ♥MND Minister Khaw Boon Wan the next route, family blogs ♥09A16 ♥ARES ♥ROU+EYU LUNWEN ♥102 '06 ♥202 '06 ♥NYCHOIR 202'06 ♥bearbear ♥guenn ♥minying ♥yihui 408'08 ♥evelyn ♥felicia ♥rouying ♥chiling seniors ♥ewe ♥her tumblr 09A16 <3 ♥jinyao 6w1 '04 <3 ♥yukiyoyeo (: ♥hweetian ♥cheryl ♥yen chuan
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Sunday, March 27, 2011 ( apprehensive @ 12:01 AM )  no matter how hard I tried today, I just couldn't focus on the applications. sometimes it scares me thinking if this would follow me through my life, because one has to be constant in life at times, and not just waiting for that sudden inspiration or mood to come to you. "Inspirations do not drop down from the sky, you have to think for it." this line was told to us by a young and cheerful lady who is a current writer cum script writer. and previously when I saw snippets of "The Three Idiots", there was a sentence in it that struck me. It meant that fear is something that hinders you from being successful. Initially I was admittedly stumped. Wasn't fear something that motivates you? Like fearing that you would score badly for a test and hence pushing yourself to ensure that you don't? But then recently, I started to think about it and I found out the meaning behind this. When we are fearful of something, we doubt. We become skeptical, we hesitate, and then we give up. Considering the disadvantages and consequences makes us worry. When we are unable to overcome this fear, or when we are so consumed by the horrors and possible circumstances that we will reject, we become too fearful of something and we fall back. Which makes me wonder, why is it that we were never bothered with such things when we were kids? Talking with Jia Rern today really made me agree with her. Because as we grow older, we are slowly capable of analyzing the processes and outcomes, and we can gather information. Enough for us to make informed decisions, but also enough for us to become too fearful to decide. The line is blurry, yes, but I can't help thinking that fear is truly something that can change our lives according to the way we react to it. (just like architecture, hiakhiakhiak) So just hope that we make informed decisions, and conquer our fears if we know that it can be conquered (and worthwhile). Sigh I really do miss the times when we were all so young and carefree, with our parents and such a strong government there to care for all of us (or make decisions for us) even if we made mistakes. Not that they don't now, but as we get older the impact of failing/making a mistake gets stronger on us, I guess. So maybe that's why we were so fearless and full of courage (not forgetting curiosity) as a kid, always jumping at every opportunity that our teacher offers us. (Not yet blogging about architecture yet I guess, maybe I'll even postpone that to May -- when I've confirmed that I really did get in/I got rejected ): but I really hope not now, ha haa. ) Anyway, today was rather tiring, I don't know why but it suddenly made me feel rather...detached from the outside world ha ha! Guess the two plus weeks of staying at home had it's impact on me. Or rather...because there was someone new? I don't know how to put it into words, maybe next time again (: And, happy birthday houyin, hope you kmm A Levels :D  Friday, March 25, 2011 ( taking a break @ 9:21 PM )  quite some time has passed since I last wrote.Tumblr really does seem kind of convenient in times like this, hehh (and look I've found another beloved at the bottom of this post!) continuous writings and applications and essentially, staring at the computer make me numb. we all need a breath of fresh air from time to time, yes? browsing through some of the other blogs suddenly makes me want to blog as well, so here I am. :D I realise that I actually didn't blog about my A level results, which is kind of surprising since it kind of marks a significant stage in my life? ha ha I don't know, but it seems kind of weird that I used to be so paranoid and easily affected by grades, so much so that I can even blog about the simple quizzes/homeworks/studies in my life. Looking back at those posts, I actually think I sound like someone who thinks that she's such a big shot. Haa! I don't know, but that's what I kind of feel when I look at other people who blogs like that (oops). Maybe it's just the type of writing style which you gradually grow out of as you continue to blog, or maybe it's the personality. (: I do feel to some extent that, up till now grades are not everything. My dad always said that grades aren't everything, and I think that really stuck with me. Maybe that's why I've stopped becoming so paranoid over simple gradings and results (or maybe, I just don't show it here/it doesn't affect me for too long if I do not get the grades that I want). Or maybe it's just that so far my grades aren't thaaaaat bad, debatable but I think the main thing here is that one shouldn't take grades soooooo seriously till they consume his/her whole life :O (though that's kind of extreme too but I think you know what I mean) BUT ANYWAY. Grades are not everything, but in fact it is still...the basis to everything huh. Contradictory but true, because living in modern society, the majority/the conventional way is to look at your grades first before they move on to other things. I guess you call this.. pre-requisites? Ha ha ha. I think I still remember the time when I was so depressed over this whole society thing (and more, not just this one), that I couldn't study properly last year and had to talk to Jiunn. HAHAAA. There I've admitted it! Okay digressing~ So there goes. If I want to try and make a summary here, I guess it's that I'm not someone who will view grades sooo importantly till it consumes my life/become my only goal in life (or for the past two years to be specific), but since I acknowledge the benefits of it (as well as to enrich my life, not just because of society stigma), I will definitely have enough preparations beforehand etc etc, so that I know for sure that the final results won't be so extreme (in the bad way) till it affects me deeply(: SO ALL RIGHT. now to talk about my long-overdue results, I SHALL NOT TALK ABOUT IT HA HA HA HA HA. Like I've said, it kind of irks me to announce my results here like some news reporter wa ha ha! But I was indeed extremely relieved and joyful to have gotten As for all the necessary subjects :D Necessary in the sense that they are 1. My favorite/best subjects 2. Subjects which I definitely cannot let my tutors down. So I am really really satisfied and happy with them. Yay! (Added for the sake of convincing, HAHAHA) So right now it's applications after I've finally decided where to go from here. Difficult and tough decision, because if I really do get in, I will be facing countless sleepless nights into 3am working on multiple projects/assignments that require meticulous efforts. BUT, I believe I can pull through. SO, back to apps for now and maybe I'll blog about it in the next post. tata.  my laptop background as of now(: I just love stars.I saw a quote by Vincent van Gogh on tumblr recently, and it goes something like this: 'I dream whenever I look at the stars." So beautiful(: Sunday, March 20, 2011 ( unwritten @ 2:10 PM )  I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefinedI'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten I shouldn't really be blogging right now, but, WHO CARES (: just a short one. even if I've written a million essays, I AM STILL UNWRITTEN :D take it or leave it. so I'm still probably going to MIA for the next following week due to application matters, and now that I've made up my mind I really really hope to get it. pleaseee! Haaaa :D Will be back. And I hope all of us applying out there will fulfill your dreams, (if you have been trying hard, i guess ha ha) and I have been MIA-ing on my tumblr too! )): gosh don't like this feeling. JIAYOU! Tuesday, March 01, 2011 ( shag @ 12:19 AM )  Another long break since the last. (:Sometimes, I think that I'm such a debater. As if the blood is running inside me all this while. It simply excites me to think that someone has a differing point of view from me, or having the same views as me. Or maybe misunderstood me, and that dying urge just swells up inside me to explain it face to face, without any confusion within black and white. But anyway, I think I sounded kind of harsh the previous post. OOPS but sometimes when it's those small and deep revelations you kind of crazy and you feel so exhilarated your emotions get the better of you? HA. I don't know, but I still maintain my views after I've came back after such a long time and reflected about it. It's just...true isn't it (: We are truly individual entities, and there is no possible way (perhaps yes but few) to find that other telepathic empathetic person. Though sometimes, I can't help but feel that I do have a very very close friend who is almost there with me :D I guess this is what you call miracles. But that aside, I still think it is true. That everyone searches for that perfect person (be it soul mate or bff) the moment they are born. It's innate, for us humans. Regardless of how much a Science person or how much an Arts person, don't tell me you don't feel the same way as I did in the previous post. I have a feeling that (and just my opinion) everyone longs and subconsciously searches for that empathetic person, just that they never realize it. And people like us (I guess here I'm referring to the original writer who inspired me) who are more emotional and ... (can I say artistic? humane? All of them seems wrong) sensitive, had just simply pointed that out. Pointed out the reality. All right up til this point I think I'm starting to type a bit incoherently. Today was sort of a really shag day for me, long day with scoldings (of which I had unintentionally emotional blackmailed my class with my hinted tears), CCA and lesson plannings. Sure, we had fun too, destressed by laughing like mad women. But now, I suddenly had this urge to blog and now typing halfway I guess I cannot continue. The chair I'm sitting on suddenly feels as if it's revolving around!! I think I'm going to pass out (no joke here) soon, so BYEEE(: I'll continue the rest I wanted to blog about (regarding teaching haha) perhaps another time. love(:  |