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Eyu. 08'07'92 WRPS;NYGH;HCI NUS Architecture Taint a celestial vault for me in shades of blue, and sprinkle stars over clear waters, emulating musical notes floating through frozen times. Give me a sandglass containing grains of memories, take a photo of someone dancing through the prairie fields, or maybe filter Paris's boulevards and cafes in vintage lens -- drown me in such ethereal worlds. ♪s recommends ♥KAGAYA ♥MND Minister Khaw Boon Wan the next route, family blogs ♥09A16 ♥ARES ♥ROU+EYU LUNWEN ♥102 '06 ♥202 '06 ♥NYCHOIR 202'06 ♥bearbear ♥guenn ♥minying ♥yihui 408'08 ♥evelyn ♥felicia ♥rouying ♥chiling seniors ♥ewe ♥her tumblr 09A16 <3 ♥jinyao 6w1 '04 <3 ♥yukiyoyeo (: ♥hweetian ♥cheryl ♥yen chuan
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Friday, January 14, 2011 ( growing up @ 8:38 PM )  today's conversation sparked off an interest and I came home and glanced through my blog archives, long time no see.ha ha it kind of startles me that I have actually 6 whole years of diary entries, on this remote little online page of mine? and then I see how much I've changed, from the nonchalant carefree and optimistic little girl to that worrying rebellious person, blahblahblah...and til now, a very apprehensive, passionate, pragmatic idealist. (i can almost hear jiashen saying, "are you sure you are an idealist!"HA HA.) huh. sometimes I kind of doubt it too. but I really really truly was simply an optimistic person. until after JC. I do hope many people do not advance to the next level, and become a pragmatic idealist. The mind becomes so convoluted and confused that one does not know how to put dramatic realistic sadistic yet again optimistic thoughts onto paper/(screen). but anyway, i see the change. and that change leaves a bittersweet feeling lingering, just like how you feel when you finally finish a really good book and see the two words, "The End." but I really am, I think, an idealist. People who don't know me well think I'm an optimist, always bubbly cheerful and fresh into the world. People who befriends me think I'm still an optimist, constantly bringing laughter to all by being crazy and being stressed at certain times only. Only people who enter my dreams at night and listening to them talk while I space out on buses know that deep down inside, I'm probably this dark person (heh heh heh) who thinks of the unthinkable. all right, not unthinkable, but you can't figure out it easily due to it's ambiguity and complicated nature. but anyway, why have I digressed? I meant to say that, the idealist still lives. On my tumblr posts, in my heart and out there. Up to this point, I think I'm pretty much confused with what I've just written. HAHAHA. I really really really just wanted to say, after all, is that these 6 years of archive are.. highly amusing. and I'm glad I've changed(: and that my writing has improved so much more!  Something here that caught your heart?(:Note: (books to read so that I can cross out more than 30 on the Facebook booklist!) - Wuthering Heights - Alice in Wonderland (the original version!) - 1984 - The Age of Innocence - Oliver Twist - blhablhablahlah omg i cannot remember. Monday, January 10, 2011 ( hmmm @ 9:03 PM )  apprehensive? I just hope that everything would be all right.(: Not just me, but everyone else who might be suffering now. The reason can be as trivial as nothing, but all the same if they're reasons that bother us and test our hearts and souls, may god bless us, and that we may be able to pull through, keep holding on, and move on to a better tomorrow. this, I hope(: Time to start beginning a life full of goals, once again! This time there are goals, not just the one which was to simply aim for that final exam results. (ugh and I don't want to think about it, but in March what has to come has to come) Hence, let's do something crazy and something that nourishes our souls: - Learn more of Yiruma's piano sheets - Learn guitar and someday be able to play and sing like Yui! - Read and read and read everyday - Learn Japanese - Dance. And..more academic based goals: - A different intern/job to excite our senses soon - Scholarships and universities applications Setting targets. ha ha ha but to persevere takes more than that.  something to brighten up my day. and I must mention that "The Age of Innocence" is truly an enlightening book! I find myself squealing in excitement mentally when I come across sentences and phrases so apt I can relate our society to. Such was the time of the enlightenment and struggle, to break free from society stigmas and turn to a more liberal society. Yet, everything has its pros and cons, and even now I amuse myself with the simple fact that how the liberal (characterized by industrialization) times have actually binded and tied down people just the same way the conservative times have done. just that perhaps we are, still unconscious. (: read it! Thursday, January 06, 2011 ( tired @ 12:23 AM )  虚脱~i swear applications get on my nerves. ten more and i might die in peace-! but at least that's one down and some more to go, and meanwhile i can rest for a while and probably count how many calories i've lost during this period of short stress. (Y) ha haa abnormal sleeping habits, once again. OH DEAR tomorrow still has another talk! better sleep soon, tata~ and my posts are getting kind of short, perhaps i should have switched to LJ but, who cares! HEEE. or maybe i should change the settings don't know if that works since it didnt for our blogshop? Tuesday, January 04, 2011 ( Alexithymia. @ 8:45 PM )  She is tired, extremely exhausted. Lying on the bed, she feels mildly amused as she experienced enjoyment at her tears trickling across her cheeks, her neck, and finally dripping slowly onto the pillow. Her hot eyes cooled for a second, and she refused to sit up. For that tiresome, weary feeling might dreadfully creep up upon her immediately, and she could almost feel the steam in her eyes coming back. Sitting up finally, she stares blankly across the room. Thousands and thousands of emotions, thoughts, surged through her fleetingly, and she was at a loss. Alexithymia. Yes, surely that was the best word to describe her current feeling. Monday, January 03, 2011 ( come back post(: @ 2:48 AM )  hello hello test test test.ha ha an attempt at a post to re-evaluate and turn the depressing mood here over.(: as I was talking to Js, I realized that I could have just excelled in philosophy too. (HAHA follow jiunn's footsteps) but seriously, I'm really grateful to all of you, to Vongola, to all you people(: Though you people will not come here anyways, thanks. and thanks to jiunn especially(: you really helped to pull me through for a split second there. and, I kind of forgot the reason why I started blogging. I guess it was just really an attempt to quickly erase the previous post, but oh wells. (this post is extremely colloquial, blahblahblah.) Okay. read my tumblr then. when words forget how to convey emotions and thoughts, photos do. oh, and more photos are uploaded on our blogshop, though no one can find it because we've used fake names, ha ha ha! Beg me to give you the url(: and thus ended another day of absolute downfall. Efforts to change abnormal sleeping habits always fail, and the heart refuses to find determination to apply for scholarships. come on man, this is no light matter. it's money for four whole years! CONCENTRATE. |