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Eyu. 08'07'92 WRPS;NYGH;HCI NUS Architecture Taint a celestial vault for me in shades of blue, and sprinkle stars over clear waters, emulating musical notes floating through frozen times. Give me a sandglass containing grains of memories, take a photo of someone dancing through the prairie fields, or maybe filter Paris's boulevards and cafes in vintage lens -- drown me in such ethereal worlds. ♪s recommends ♥KAGAYA ♥MND Minister Khaw Boon Wan the next route, family blogs ♥09A16 ♥ARES ♥ROU+EYU LUNWEN ♥102 '06 ♥202 '06 ♥NYCHOIR 202'06 ♥bearbear ♥guenn ♥minying ♥yihui 408'08 ♥evelyn ♥felicia ♥rouying ♥chiling seniors ♥ewe ♥her tumblr 09A16 <3 ♥jinyao 6w1 '04 <3 ♥yukiyoyeo (: ♥hweetian ♥cheryl ♥yen chuan
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Thursday, October 28, 2010 ( @ 8:38 PM )  csc essay is giving me the pains. why is it that i can spend hours and hours doing one essay so painstakingly?!god give me power, i pray for strength and perseverance. 12 more days to a levels! :OOOOOOOOOOOOOO minus today which is 11 days. WHAT HAVE I DONE. CLL MEMORIZING, MATH PRACTICING, GP STUFF ARE WAITING FOR ME. NOT TO MENTION ELL. WHY HAVENT I STARTED ELL AT ALL? (because i've spent too much time on csc? -.-) sighhh okay now's the time to do it. hee hee i feel like recent posts are so much of a ranting. not really accustomed to such style yet (given that previous posts were all so dark, convoluted and depressed) k im done!!(: Sunday, October 24, 2010 ( lets' go out to see the sun @ 5:53 PM )  finally raining made the haze went away temporarily :Di can breathe again!! and this weather makes me sleep easily. and then again, 15 more days to A levels, not counting today ): OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. it feels so damn fast. and near. gosh what have i been doing. at least i have some sort of worry now. CMON YOU CAN DO IT. ell math csc cll GP. hee hee i think my math and cll are like dead. period. and me ell = no practice FIFTEEN DAYS LEFT. AINT GOOD. JIAYOUJIAYOUJIAYOU wake up earlier each day and sleep earlier. waste little time and stay healthy. :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and then a few days of mock tests (oo left gp and math and cll already. cant believe i took ell mock so early without really studying. sucks ): ell mock should have been later so that there's a positive force to make me study and practice more! and the csc mock was seriously like attending some kind of csc summer camp it was kind of ineffective at the end ): but at least i finally got to understand what kind of relationship china has with ASEAN, and the U.S. ha ha!) okay to anyone who ever comes again to this deserted site, eat well, sleep well, be happy, dont talk to strangers and mug with full force! (though i hope i'd do that too hee hee) JIAYOU. beautiful days lie ahead waiting for us. i cant wait to see the sun again(: on a side note, im going to be quarantined for ell A levels because I am the only person in the cohort that is crazy enough to take CLL and ELL together. awesomeee. ): i hope the RI teachers would seem more amiable. HEE. tata~ edit: on a side note, i forgot to mention that I'm no longer angsty/depressed or anything haa. thank you loads mummy (though you will never come here to read this hee) i can never express my gratitude :D you'll definitely become an awesome psychologist imo and hope we'll still stay in contact when you go to HARVARD (and all the others too sigh) !! thanks to all those who cared and encouraged meh (: Sunday, October 17, 2010 ( entitled: falling to pieces @ 8:39 PM )  i think it's not uncommon for everyone to know i'm quite a heavy sleeper. and that the word 'quite' is underestimated.i'd sleep normally like everyone else do, wake up late into the afternoon and unsurprisingly still able to will myself to sleep a few hours later, only to wake up feeling indifferent to my parent's naggings and my inner self conscious. that tells me i'm living like worse than a pig and it's time to buck up seriously, because this is really the last lap and you've worked so hard and this is the moment. i don't really think that im burning out though, you know. from what i observe/my inner self-conscious tells me, i can do way way way, better than this. back to that primary 6 moment when everything i did was study and all i cared was to reach my goals and score a perfect score. but no, no matter how many times my inner self tells me that this is the last lap and that i should start panicking for all my lousy subjects and not-very-excellent-subjects, i still wake to drowsiness and indifference. and everything in the previous night turns into this numbness and...hatred. probably at myself. but i think i know the reason. it's not burnout phase, it's not. instead i'm starting to believe that it's because im starting to lose all my emotions, once and for all. it (kind of) worries me that i can actually no longer feel passion, or (even) love, for the world's beautiful things. although a huge part of me still believe that they're out there. but. i don't know why, but i think each time i will myself to sleep, im trying to escape from this screwed up world and society of ours. from all the misshapen and unfortunate. each time i wake up, i fear living and hence i force myself to sleep, once again, falling into the deep slumbers. GOD what has happened to me. i think i've become too philosophical and reality is harsh. it's kind of really frightening, you know. i need to find back my younger self when everything was at the peak. when i was always full of optimism to myself and such. not that im not now, you know. it's just that, i feel im being optimistic to everyone. except for myself. this ain't healthy. okay i think i need to embark on a healthier lifestyle, once and for all, while there's still 2+weeks left to everything. sighhh. and im afraid i'll bemoan the time lost. i hate this part of me. BYE. off to do csc essay. hopefully, 我不会再如此病态地睡下去。 (i think im rather influenced by 莫醒醒. “累了，让我继续睡。” (edit: okay i think i was too pessimistic suddenly. ha ha im not that serious til i cant feel passion or love i think. im just, unable to translate those feelings into real actions. anyway. wanted to share a video. once again, i was gaping in awe looking at the magical movements across black and white keys) Tuesday, October 12, 2010 ( love(: @ 6:46 PM )  I love Yiruma and Hayao Miyazaki in a way that I think very few people will understand.♥--written on impromptu(: Sometimes I really wonder what I'll do if they didn't exist at all. They make my life meaningful and inject hope into my distressed soul. Their brilliant works inspire me, make me cry, laugh, and anticipate. Strength is what they are capable of giving to others indirectly. that said, i think today was a rather productive day, despite sleeping too much (once again). byee, because life's like this. Saturday, October 09, 2010 ( music is ____. @ 10:13 PM )  "have been mentally strained with headache stemming from continuous attempts to digest information, coupled with the vast disappointment and anguish directed at oneself for not being adept enough to achieve that one (and only) diploma. and then everything suddenly became so much better (finally) when i lied on the bed and switched on my long parted (two weeks worth) ipod(: the first song that blasted into my ears was River Flows In You on my newly created 'all time favs' playlist, and then all of a sudden i was crying, crying. for everything that never was and never will be. and for others. After that piece, i felt as if something had been lifted off from my burdens, like vapour dissipated into the air, and i felt like i was being comforted, like a vulnerable child. listening to the subsequent songs miraculously filled me with waves of love, and gratitude surged through me like it has never been before (in these few rare months). And i forgave myself. then i thought, this is an endless cycle, where we hope, fall, despair (even hate), only coming back round to hoping. and music has proven itself ___ (miraculous?dont know what's the right word here), working magic when you need it most--souls cleansed and worries temporarily forgotten." notice how the word temporarily is in bold. ha ha ha the above = some days ago when i was still brooding over my 2.5 marks. nothing else said(: and then that was wrote down in a hurry (with some editing now), just in case such flickering thoughts and feelings disappear in the next second. (: jiayou everyone, im back to finishing my csc essay by tonight. somehow, when you type it out, the words just dont flow like they do on paper. Sunday, October 03, 2010 ( dreams @ 3:02 PM )  tumblr is addictive.and that's a declarative, with the omission of modalization and the use of present tense (active verb), hence constructing factual orientation and universal truth. (also increased power of..expertise?) wa ha ha! that's like the basic of the basic in ell. hah i wonder when it will be one level uppp. anyway yesterday was baguette's 20th birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY. and you got a POLAROID CAMERA im freaking jealous! :O i want to see bring it back the next time you come home! anyway hope you had a great time and forget about getting old and stuff, because you're young at heart ♥ (and i hope we could all stop feeling so old) and and and dreams. sighh lately i've been dreaming a lot, and have been wondering about my dreams too :O punpun! anyway all right shan't elaborate too much on it. hee and i kind of forgot what i wanted to post (Y) OHH reminder to myself: 1. buy yiruma's albums/download his songs! (It's Your Day and others) 2. no more ha ha ha tbc. should i perhaps ban facebook :OO and limit my tumblr sprees ha ha all right back to studying come on you can do it!!! ((: JIAYOU TO EVERYONE OUT THERE STRUGGLING. ♥  hee sometimes i feel that im quite professional. (scotland) |