Eyu. 08'07'92 WRPS;NYGH;HCI NUS Architecture Taint a celestial vault for me in shades of blue, and sprinkle stars over clear waters, emulating musical notes floating through frozen times. Give me a sandglass containing grains of memories, take a photo of someone dancing through the prairie fields, or maybe filter Paris's boulevards and cafes in vintage lens -- drown me in such ethereal worlds. ♪s recommends ♥KAGAYA ♥MND Minister Khaw Boon Wan the next route, family blogs ♥09A16 ♥ARES ♥ROU+EYU LUNWEN ♥102 '06 ♥202 '06 ♥NYCHOIR 202'06 ♥bearbear ♥guenn ♥minying ♥yihui 408'08 ♥evelyn ♥felicia ♥rouying ♥chiling seniors ♥ewe ♥her tumblr 09A16 <3 ♥jinyao 6w1 '04 <3 ♥yukiyoyeo (: ♥hweetian ♥cheryl ♥yen chuan
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Tuesday, July 27, 2010 ( ranting(: @ 10:25 PM ) it's the same old thing again, reiterated so many times that i don't know how to put it across anymore. i just hope, someone out there understands this struggle we go through everyday. though no true physical hardships, the amount our heart is subjected to is already twice as much. okay i know i have awkward sentences, wa ha ha! just ranting, just ranting. it's escapism in the face of countless little things here and there (and surmount to huge piles of burdens) if i wasn't such a perfectionist, would i have been better off? or rather, if i wasn't such an idealist, would i have been happier? or both? i dont know. just thought that the posts lately are getting darker and darker in tone. be stronger(: (and back to endless lunwen, emcee, math, csc essays, SL reports, ELL compilations) because everyone's the same. just that some people (imo) will adapt quicker and survive better :O okay no more nonsense. it's study time~ Sunday, July 25, 2010 ( stronger(: @ 6:57 PM ) and after all these years, i suddenly realise that i have almost zero (and perhaps just this one) icons depicting girls/people who are actually truly happy, and laughing out loud when they should. i guess i am truly not a happy girl by default, which is quite a different thing from what i used to believe in. (or perhaps i was just too ignorant, i dont know) anyway, there's no real purpose of this entry, and i feel like sometimes life's so full of hope yet sometimes so depressing. and for me, these moments fluctuate on a more frequent basis than others, and recently the extent for each has been escalating exponentially, leaving me wondering (amusedly) whether a day will come when the down moments are so excruciatingly painful that i decided to end it once and for all without waiting for the change :O hahaha decisions, decisions. i like the way it's said (: but i believe i will stay sane and practical (with of course, sensible notions) haha i dont even know what im saying anymore! anyway, here's a tribute to life, wishing everyone in the world to keep holding on, and be stronger ((: speaking of which, i've always wanted to download this song due to it's continuous repeating of the phrase "be stronger, i will be stronger" that has brought me some hope and determination in life :D finally went to search for the lyrics just now and surprisingly the lyrics made me love the song even better, because it actually brought out the exact feelings i felt when i first heard the song (: because a lot of time when i finally decided to search for lyrics and when they weren't within my expectations (which is almost most of the time), i feel a bit disappointed since it cant portray my feelings aptly. (Like Jordin Sparks' Worth the Wait', but luckily the melody is still unbeatable) Then again you cant blame anyone, since almost all songs written today portray love and only a lil portion of them focuses on other aspects of life/other feelings, and that is pretty sad. so anyway, do enjoy Ariel and Alexandria Moore's "Stronger". I especially like the first verse(: (p.s: sisters ftw!) Thursday, July 22, 2010 ( fragile @ 9:05 PM ) so cruel, so practical, so damaging. and what's left of the ___? beware, i fear that i am fragile. there isn't really a clear, delightful or warm ambiance ahead waiting, just tons and tons of heavy mists dripping apprehension all over, getting closer and closer by the day as our age falls off clandestinely. it must be really comforting, or even exciting to have an obvious light somewhere out there. because i fear that i am delicate. (and of what may come next) decisions, decisions. all of us loiters around dark holes, uncertain as we watch some of the others jump in decisively. but i hold back, petrified of the musical tinkling when ___ shatters. (and then sometimes i wonder how conforming we have become, stifling creativity and impeding true passion or potential, or paths wrongly taken since young, all because of this meritocratic and rote learning education?) Just for this once, Please be brave. Please be strong. (because I will be stronger) Thursday, July 15, 2010 ( thank you people (: @ 8:24 PM ) this is really the first time ive celebrated my birthday like this, and thank you all my friends and beloved for making my day((: thanks to yenchuan for celebrating my actual birthday, first time singing kbox with two people only (and is awesome satisfying experience!), and love your presents (My Melody is so cute and especially love the beautiful vintage windchime from DeArt that seemed only possible in dreams♥) and then thanks to bingkun hanyong and zhenglin for organizing my surprise party haha GOSH. im not sure if there are other organizers but everyone was so awesome!!! I was really almost going to believe that the celebration stopped at bugis and with bingkun claiming everything was so fail hahaha (: and yupps thanks to everyone else that came and surprised me, with jiashen (you spent so much on that day so sorry and thanks!) jiunn (mummy!) earnest (kami samaaa) yingci (drunkard :D) san zijing and finally zhenyao (dodo!!!) for rushing over at the last moment hahaha! yes and i really really really love all the presents yall gave me ((: best year ever ♥ bk: thanks for the planning haha its like a present alrdy :D and your cutest singable bear ever! hy: love the "love 2 dance" shirt hahaa and the awesome designer notebook cant bear to use it! js: gosh i cant believe you spent so much, the bag is really a very pretty lil thing, and the shirts skirt and necklace too!! not to mention your treat at swensens :OOOO yingci: for your yummy chocs haha got me fat! earn: inspiring cards that has so much meaning! love these type of life motivation things hehh(: san+zijing: haha although i dont have earholes, love the star bottle and the earrings!♥ zy: handmade keychain is awesome to the max! love the design ♥ haha okay thats probably about it already, of course you people wont come here (most) but i shall just record for memory keepsakes (: so that i can remember how you people tricked me all the way to bugis, made me wait for an hour before "celebrating" with a few people only and successfully made me a lil disappointed/sad, before finally tricking me home and surprising me at my very own house! haha and erm for others, thanks also to : ewezang: haha stupid baguette thanks for pretty planner now i got so many pretty notebooks i dont know and dont bear to use them anymore! guofei: for your wonderful fantabulous music box in the form of a blue crystal piano! :DD this is really super delicate love it loads thankss! lingxue: haha i cant believe you got me a present too just because of a random question ♥ first time someone got me something from The Body Shop my favourite shop for nourishing body products! and of course ht: thanks for your super cute and smells-so-nice honey pumps lip gloss from Majorlica Majorca! :O Love loads! haha♥ (and thank you mum for giving birth to me♥) LOVE YOU GUYS(: Saturday, July 10, 2010 ( as promised, @ 10:19 PM ) 然后,我望着这无星的一片黑,哭了。 为了自己的无能,为了无法被谅解的心,为了现在生活的无奈,为了社会不必要的种种枷锁,为了这一切的一切…… 为了活着。 总之,心情非常的差,所以视线模糊了。 似乎每次提不起劲时,都是用这个办法,但最近好像对这个世界,甚至生命的悟性太深了,致使恐惧感(或怨恨?也有可能是无奈中产生的绝望)越爬越近,心,也更痛了。 痛痛快快地哭一场吧。眼泪流干后,是新的开始,人也感到更有精神了。活着,确实是世上最悲哀的事,但这是一种无奈,是我们能体会到人世间美好的唯一代价。 所以,我们是不是更应该去把握这些美好的事物? so deep.我不愿再进一步追究。 累了。请让我继续睡。 please be brave. Wednesday, July 07, 2010 ( reminiscence @ 2:54 AM ) and i promise to blog about something i really wanted to reblog about (from my own written some-sort-of-diary). perceptions about life and the world, and how each time i think about it i seem to have a bit more understanding about this universe we are in, not scientifically, but rather socially or psychologically. ha ha sometimes i think i dwell too much into it, but i guess in order to really survive in this world one needs to face not only the good side and also the bad side, as well as any other gray areas(: (and i think im slowly beginning to navigate myself into the gray area, excellent. no sarcasm intended) because i think i am beginning to perceive the world in a nuanced kind of view (ha ha gosh so GP styled but yes whatever we've learnt arms us for this isn't it). ha ha kind of difficult to explain never mind i will post next time fore sure (: and it's going to be my 18th birthday :O not much intention to change (unless it's for the better, again debatable what is better), and not much feelings of significance once again. it's kind of like once you grow older, these kind of things doesn't really matter much anymore and you just lament how you really grew up and think (therefore behave) like your parents. and then you realise you don't really care if your friends gave you any awesome presents or remembered your birthday (contrary to young when it means everything in the whole world) anymore, because you already treasure the times you spend together everyday ♥ but you will still try to remember theirs, because you want to (: (even if you might be forgetful and become truly sorry if you forget one) okay i sort of lost the momentum for blogging ha ha. will visit in prob a days time (: jyaa. |