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Eyu. 08'07'92 WRPS;NYGH;HCI NUS Architecture Taint a celestial vault for me in shades of blue, and sprinkle stars over clear waters, emulating musical notes floating through frozen times. Give me a sandglass containing grains of memories, take a photo of someone dancing through the prairie fields, or maybe filter Paris's boulevards and cafes in vintage lens -- drown me in such ethereal worlds. ♪s recommends ♥KAGAYA ♥MND Minister Khaw Boon Wan the next route, family blogs ♥09A16 ♥ARES ♥ROU+EYU LUNWEN ♥102 '06 ♥202 '06 ♥NYCHOIR 202'06 ♥bearbear ♥guenn ♥minying ♥yihui 408'08 ♥evelyn ♥felicia ♥rouying ♥chiling seniors ♥ewe ♥her tumblr 09A16 <3 ♥jinyao 6w1 '04 <3 ♥yukiyoyeo (: ♥hweetian ♥cheryl ♥yen chuan
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Sunday, December 02, 2007 ( [back from china] @ 9:48 PM ) ^^ and with mixed feelings. i miss china but i also miss singapore. i miss my friends but i also miss my family. when in china i feel that we lead a just nice paced life but filled with hidden arrows everywhere. from the teachers and from friends around. and then there will be times when a few close friends gather around and complain, discuss, find solutions. and we will get high and scream and shout and we will also worry for each other and cry and get unhappy and have friction. we will also get well again, learn and understand what it feels to step outside and depend on yourself and see the mini version of the modern society which we have barely started to reach out to. we will get tired of everything. the beginning is fresh and interesting. but as time passes, we realise that even though we have each other by our side, there are always people who cause us pain and hurt. 42 days and we still got used to everything. got used to all the laughters, sadness, angers, worries etcetc. i guess thats why when i finally got back, i have these mixed feelings. its like a 42 day dream. everything just rushed by so fast, im not even sure if i really existed in china. its just like i will wake up tomorrow and i will be facing rouying peiying and yanxin, with me freezing to death calling them to change the aircon to heater mode. the getting used to living in china has made this impression on me. and yet, it all seem like a dream. china and singapore is that far, yet it only takes 5 hours on plane, during which a nap and watching the mini screen took up the time. blink and you are in singapore. miles and miles away, and we have travelled back. when felicia left us due to her fractured leg, i was thinking what was she feeling. and ive experienced it now. i really miss the days. yet i am happy that those days are over. if only. i hope to live with my new goals and get more used to the life here agian. i hope! =) everything changes and if nothing changes, the world wont go on. and it is us who have to get used to it. and it has been long since i left. long days since i touched my piano and experienced everything. thats why when i rode the bicycle out today with the summer night breeze i felt happy.calm.sad. finally. lol. and then there are so many things to do. i really dont want to face all of this but still it is still gng to come. homeworks.SIAs.BSP report.CCA practices.TXY camp.NYAA.Library CIPs.Unpacking.Tidying up.Meeting up.Uploading photos.Exchanging photos.Making monatges.Updating blog.Reviving my piano pieces.Tuitoring.Stuffs to watch.Getting to know what has happened.Exchanging songs.Everything. all the must dos things, all the things thatim forced to do, and all the things that i force myself to do. im so scared that i'll forget to do them, or i will slack off and dont do them. deep inside i think maybe im starting to stretch.supposedly how am i gng to do all of that in the last few days? i dont even have one month left. i think i may really slack off. i cant bear to think of it. i really, really, really, just really, want to be a small and ordinary persion. i dont want to be any leader i dont want to be exceptionally good i dont want to attract any attention i dont want to let any teacher know me. i just want to be myself and an ordinary person. i want to be who i am. im afraid of big social circles. im afraid of hurting others and hurting myself. i want to stick to my friends. i just want to stay with those that i trust and love. because. im scared of losing things that really matters. and. i want to post in chinese. i convey better. |