courage?

Sometimes I tell myself, I will pull through. Indeed I will, certainly, in the end, but what then of the process? There will indeed be bad crits, times when your hardwork involving several sleepless nights would be criticized, trampled on, and brandished aside within a few moments of heartbeat. There just isn't justice. Crying is for the weak (or for the brave, so they say), surely to be true in such situations. You don't ground yourself day and night to be an architect only to allow your emotions overwhelm you during critical presentations. WEAK, would be the immediate judgement bestowed upon you.

But then, how to be brave, when sweat, tears, frustration, excitement, revelation (or so it had perhaps seemed so many times) -- thousands of emotions all rolled into one thin sheet of careful creation had eventually turned into nothing but work of despise? Stereotyped, accused, demanded...

It just doesn't seem right when an education doesn't instill your passion but kills it off, week after week (twice per week), bit by bit. You can criticize all you want, we welcome it. But what you don't do is you shouldn't trample on our efforts even if it seems ridiculously horrible. One do not simply judge a book by its cover. We aren't people in lack of the fire, but it's just that too many instances of cold water drowning us had happened, it just ain't right sometimes. Surely just a little acknowledgement of the huge amount of effort and time wouldn't kill?

But then surely I wasn't strong enough. These ugly emotions.

Tutors need to show a little love when they can. This is what's wrong with Singapore's education. Too easily are we stuck with this routined way of imparting our knowledge, too much, too restricting. Too much emphasis on time and efficiency, that we overlook or simply give up the ability to facilitate creative discussion. Rubbish and nonsense do indeed make your life worthwhile, just so you know.

I think this is the first post ever that hasn't actually achieved that self-healing effect I usually have when writing. Ugly, ugly, ugly. All right, let's get back to being licked. How sarcastic, courage in your face like that.